Dear long-lost friend,
The one that I never hear from anymore. I get it. Life is busy … There’s work, children and life’s day-to-day chaos. Little did I know that once I had a family of my own, many people would just vanish from my life, people who were once so close to me.
There are times in your life worth celebrating. One of those times happened to be the first time I saw two pink lines on that test strip. That day was filled with excitement and a touch of anxiety. I was about to embark on a journey I had never gone before and it was both exhilarating and uneasy not knowing what would lie ahead.
You shared the news with your friends, loved ones and the world. Everyone was excited (well, most of them anyway).
And so goes the next 9 months: body, hormonal and emotional changes. I mean organs relocate to make room for this new life!!
Through it all, you get comments like “How are you feeling?”, “You look great!”, “I’m so excited for you!”, “I can’t wait to hold that baby.”
Your baby shower comes and goes, and you’re overwhelmed by the amount of love shown to you and your unborn child. Before you know it, that beautiful little baby you waited nine months to meet is finally here!
You share the great news that the little one has arrived and everyone is so excited. You’re inundated with texts, calls and messages. Everyone wants to visit and meet the baby. And you feel grateful for such love and support.
I know this may not be the case for every mom, but I found myself feeling overly protective of this new life to the point where I really didn’t want visitors other than immediate family. I was a nut about germs and sanitizing and making sure no one was recently sick when visiting (I thought better safe than sorry!).
The days were long. The nights were longer.
The exhaustion was grueling. The new role was a major adjustment for me. My body was confused and my hormones were all over the place. The realization was settling in that I was now a mother; someone’s entire world depended on me. I had to be present and push through and be, well on cue, always. That was both beautiful and scary at the same time.
Those first few months were a blur, and I could’ never have imagined how hard it would be, especially the breastfeeding. Oh, the breastfeeding, every two hours, but we’ll save that for another blog post.
Once the dust settled and I finally found my groove and my footing, I had my moment of clarity. I looked around and thought, Wll, where is everybody? The texts had stopped. The phone calls were non-existent. I had lost my connection to the outside world.
Then… everything stopped.
Everything involving my social life, that is. I guess you could say I traded in the cocktails for sippy cups, gossip for wet kisses and late-night parties for middle-of-the-night feedings. But you know what,?It is a pretty great trade-off, but I’d prefer to enjoy the right balance that included meaningful friendships. Just because I’m a stay-at-home mom doesn’t mean I can’t have friends, right? Or does it?
Where was everyone?
All those people who showered you with love, were so excited to hold the baby and be with you during this most-amazing process, well, where were they now?
Those that did stick around, fired off the occasional text (even when life was busy), tolerated my extreme over-protectedness and acknowledged my texts when I reached out for a lifeline during those times of needing to feel connected to the outside world, well, those are the friends you celebrate and cherish.
I get it. Life is busy. Who am I kidding? Everyone is busy.
Just because I had a kid doesn’t mean I expectedeveryone to stop their lives for me, believe me. But, I did expect a “check in” every once in a while from the people I’d connected with over the years. Would love to have heard a “Hello,” “How are you?” or “How’s life?”
Some friendships change; some lose traction. They morph into either you no longer have anything in common or life just got in the way. It happens. I accept that not all friendships are forever. Some friends enter your life for a reason or a season. The friends that stay connected through every season are the ones to be cherished and nurtured. They’re the ones that help you heal.
Friends are hard to come by, especially when you’re a mom.
If you need another friend, pop me a message! Mom friend here! You can never have too many friends!
Any mommies feel this way after having a baby?